


Let Us Be Elegant

by Mythic_Hue



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: DS9 Reverse Big Bang, I get a little preachy, M/M, here be monologues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-09-01 09:21:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8618818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mythic_Hue/pseuds/Mythic_Hue
Summary: Garak feels compelled to investigate Julian's unusual moodiness.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this piece for Tumblr's DS9 Reverse BigBang... http://ds9reversebang.tumblr.com/
> 
> This fic is based off the lovely fanart here... http://gayingupspace.tumblr.com/image/151284456163 
> 
>  
> 
> (It seems very unlikely that what I have interpreted is anything close to what the artist had envisioned, but once the thought entered my mind, I couldn't shake it! Thank you for the inspiration!)

It is not possible for a man to be elegant without a touch of femininity.  
**Vivienne Westwood**

 

 

Let us be elegant or die!  
**Louisa May Alcott**  


Garak felt suspiciously anxious. He held this anxiety in question as he was feeling at though his, dare he say it, sentiment towards his friend, was affecting his ability to properly discern reality. Oh yes, the Cardassian was certain he was in trouble.

 

It had been a few months since Garak had realized that his constant exposure to one Doctor Julian Bashir had begun to alter his base level requirements for social interaction. He remembered how positively cantankerous he felt when Julian was off the station for two weeks for a medical conference. It took the tailor nearly no time to realize that a trip to Quark’s to simply be among beings was no substitute for regular lunches and passing conversations with the good doctor.

 

Garak had made sure that once the doctor had returned, he made positively no alterations to his routine or perceivable attitude towards his companion. He was terrified that his realization of his nascent feelings of affection towards the doctor would alter the peaceable relationship with his friend. Certainly, Julian may have been trained to be seemingly open and trusting by Starfleet, but he was no fool. 

 

Now, he was faced with a dilemma; Julian had been acting strangely all week. Two days ago at lunch Garak noted that the doctor had appeared slightly agitated, distracted, and irritable. His every word and reaction fell within the bounds of what the Cardassian had come to expect from the doctor’s manners, however there was certainly much lacking in their interactions. He seemed to have trouble maintaining eye contact, or indeed focus on any one thing for very long and their conversation seemed stagnated. 

 

As the next two days had passed, he had noticed no change in this odd behaviour. Garack decided to break with the routine of their interactions, close up his shop a few minutes early, and try to catch Julian before he left his shift in the infirmary. He was hoping to ask the doctor to join him at Quark’s for a drink so he would have a chance to study this change and see if he could root out the cause. 

 

As Garak rounded the Promenade he saw Julian, fully distracted with a PADD and on the Turbolift as the doors closed. The tailor halted, trying to look as though nothing had gone amiss, and stopped in to Quark’s. He found a small table along the wall of the bar and ordered a small salad but did nothing more than push the leafy greens around. What was going on with the doctor? First agitated and irritable, and now, it seems as though he is being evasive. What if something troubling happened while he was away at the conference? Garak decided that he must visit his friend and see if he could suss out the issue. 

 

He casually strolled to the Turbolifts and soon found himself in front of the doctor’s door. After Garak buzzed the doctor it took quite some time to get an answer at the door and the Cardassian heard some frantic shuffling from within. 

 

Garak straightened his spine when he finally heard Julian at the door. As it slid open, the doctor appeared with his uniform slightly skewed and rumpled, and his hair mussed. But what held Garak’s attention was that the doctor’s usually smooth and rounded lips were now seemingly plumped and painted a ruby red. The confused Cardassian held himself perfectly still, simultaneously waiting for his friend to speak and also shuffling through all his interactions with Terran humans to account for this seemingly unusual occurrence.

 

“Garak! Ah, hello! Can I, ah, help you with something?”

 

Well, Garak thought, something certainly seemed amiss with the doctor all week, and now this irregularity? Although, Julian seemed more like his usual, cheery self. Yes, an investigation was certainly warranted, just to make sure that this situation, whatever it was, would resolve itself and Garak could continue his pattern of valued interaction with the good doctor. Garak could analyze his personal motivations later.

 

“Yes, doctor, I was hoping that I could speak to you about a medical concern.”

 

Doctor Bashir began to speak but Garak interrupted, “I do understand that it would be more logical to visit you in the infirmary, however, this concern is of a sensitive nature, and I rather not have a Starfleet record of it… I hope you understand?”

 

Doctor Bashir seemed to waver between reluctancy and pleasure at his friend legitimately needing his assistance, “Of course, Garak, please come in. I will get us something to drink and we will sit down and you can tell me what brought you here.”

 

“Thank you, doctor.”

 

Garak’s eyes swept the room quickly as Julian busied himself at the replicator. One of the cushions on the couch was crooked, and there was a lingering scent in the air… a vanilla smell that he recognized from some Terran cookies Doctor Bashir had replicated one day, and also a floral scent that was unfamiliar; it was intoxicating. He reached out with his senses, trying to detect if there was an individual in the doctor's quarters. Garak sensed no other beings there. Curiouser and curiouser. 

 

Julian motioned to the couch for his friend to sit and then reclined in a nearby chair, placing the tray with Tarkalean tea on the side table. Each man took up the clear cups filled with tea and took a slow slip, eyeing each other. As the doctor returned his cup to the tray, he sees it: a mark on the cup from his lipstick. As he slowly blinks to the cup, seemingly to search for what to say, Garak took the opportunity of distraction to look to the disturbed couch pillow. After examining the area, Garak sees a lump, and after poking around pulled out a breathtakingly lovely embroidered shawl scarf of Andolian silk in purples and blues. Garak fingered the floral and swirl patterns admiringly, before placing the item next to the perturbing cup, in view of the doctor. Garak sat back slightly, relaxed, knowing from his friend’s body language that he was formulating some sort of response, and not concocting some story to brush off whatever it was that is going on. 

\-------

 

Julian was able, just barely, to control his breathing. Berating himself for his slip up was not a productive line of thought. No, no, here he was, in the presence of perhaps the most perceptive individual in his acquaintance and his lips were graced with the most dazzling shade of ruby raspberry lipstick. He had a hopeless crush on this individual. And, now the scarf… oh, he was not feeling shame, more that his private life had been dragged into the light against his will, and yet neither of the two companions had said a word nor had made eye contact. What was there to say? Was Garak’s silence indicative of his confusion or discomfort? What a thing to finally drive the Cardassian away! Would this be less painful than admitting to Garak his feelings and watch the tailor sneer at him in disdain? The young man asserted to himself that this was his space. His Cardassian friend had entered it. He could chose to explain the seeming aberrations to his normal behavior, or he could stare his companion down and dare him to articulate whatever convoluted Cardassian obfuscation was ready to spill from those grey lips. Julian’s eyes met Garak’s with determination and steel.

 

Garak cut him off before he could take a breath. 

 

“Doctor, I am afraid I have mislead you about my intentions behind my visit. Truly, I wanted to vacate the hallway as soon as possible.” Garak remained focused on making eye contact, refusing to let his gaze drift to Julian’s rouged lips. “I have been… concerned lately about your overall mood and attitude. I fear that something has disturbed you while you were away and that you may require some assistance to resolve whatever issue you face. You are a remarkably resourceful and able individual and so I must assume that since you had yet to settle your problem that you need assistance.”

 

“You,” Julian stops short and takes a deep breath, “...you came to see me today because you feel as though I have been acting out of sorts?” The young doctor manages to sounds both innocently curious and incredulous. “I have no idea what you might be talking about.” 

 

“Doctor, you have been high-strung, flighty, distracted, and irritable for the past week, shall I go on?”

 

Julian continued to maintain eye contact with Garak, but remained silent.

 

“Doctor, I cannot help but point out what is obvious to you, and setting you ill at ease… does your problem have anything to do with the additional color on your lips? And perhaps this lovely scarf as well?”

 

He took a moment before he was ready to speak again. 

 

“Garak, what can you, or should I say, what would you be willing to tell me about the social and personality-based difference between Cardassian males and females?”

 

The simple tailor tilted his head slightly, mulling over the doctor’s words. “Cardassian females, overall, seem to be more attracted to scientific, scholarly, and theoretical pursuits, whereas men have a tendency to pursue careers in politics, civics, or the military. Neither sex is excluded from various avenues of employments and there is a general sense of suitability for most every occupation. Both males and females have equal respect for what all Cardassians hold dear; honor to the the State and high regard for the status of one’s family.”

 

“Garak, would you say that, over the history of your culture, that these facts have always been true?”

 

“Throughout modern Cardassian history, yes.”

 

“And before that?”

 

Garak nearly looked uncomfortable. “To my knowledge, very little, if any cultural traditions have passed from the first culture of Cardassia to our modern one. I really am not sure how to answer your question.”

 

“What if I told you that the cultural differences between male and female Terrans have shifted dramatically over the years? It was less than 500 years ago that the first Terran female was able to vote alongside males for government leaders, and it was well over 100 years past that until all parts of the planet had followed suit. Historically, females were seen as more emotional, nurturing beings, and men as more rational, logical, and stoic individuals.”

 

“It does seem like many culture have a similar history, doctor.”

 

“I believe you are right, Garak. Ideals and perceptions about the sexes altered somewhat gradually on Earth over the years. By the time that the Federation was founded, many of these issues had been worked out and women were valued equally in their pursuits. As the Federation, and by extension Starfleet, was faced with the prospect of encountering many new cultures, a strange, tacit accord seemed to be reached; in order to get along with many of these new races, all of which were more advanced, it would be best for the Terrans to drop many of the traits that were perceived to be overtly masculine or feminine. There are several species that find sex or gender distinction the the sign of a backwards society that should be at best pitied and at worst shunned. So, for the last 200 years or so, Starfleet Academy has slowly trained their Terran students, and others from races that follows a similar gendered dichotomy, to dissolve many of these gendered constructs in our behavior. This is meant to smooth our interactions with new beings and civilizations that we meet. We are led to believe that the way that we are trained to behave can be contained within our work relationships and interactions, but, really, when is a Starfleet member truly off-duty and how can you separate yourself in such a manner!? It is clear that this standard procedure within Starfleet, has, over time, leaked to the Federation community at large. It is apparent that over the years the culture, social mores, and expectations have steered towards this more agendered expression of oneself.” 

 

The doctor nervously reached for the scarf, rubbing the material through his fingers. “And while this has moved our culture away from much of the hate and prejudicial viewpoints of the other centuries, in my opinion, it has caused an irreparable backlash of unforeseen circumstances. Those that choose to express themselves in gendered ways are seen as weak and unprofessional, especially those traits that are attributed more to the gender viewed opposite of their sex. A nurturing, quiet female and an aggressive, confident male may be excused as simply listening to their innate selves, whereas a flirtatious, graceful male and independent, sexually aggressive female are viewed as tripping into the pitfalls of gendered behavior. It makes no sense!” 

 

Julian was pacing the room now and suddenly stopped.

 

“Why can’t a male allow himself to be soft? Why can’t a male give in to his emotions? It is seen as unprofessional by Starfleet, and certainly in some circumstances being emotional or quiet could do more harm than good, but these traits are drilled out of us, both males and females! We are trained to be decisive, self-assured and non-emotional. It can be infuriating, however, overall, I can understand Starfleet’s motives. It does not mean that I do not have a desire to express myself freely in my own spaces. Men can be considered handsome, strapping, and powerful but at times I want to be soft, and simply beautiful as well.”

 

The doctor sighed and took up the scarf and held it closer to inspect the work.

 

“You may not have realized it from the limited exposure to casual Terran clothing on the station, but there are some marked differences between what males and females like to wear, and historically it was even moreso. Female clothing tended to lean towards the more luxurious fabrics in sensuous textures and in more joyous colors. Being able to wear such amazing items of clothing lets me tap into the part of me that craves being feminine.”

 

Julian wrapped the scarf around himself like a shawl, rubbing his cheek against the fabric.

 

“It was also popular for a time that women use cosmetics on their faces to enhance their features and recreate the flushed appearance of sexual pleasure.” Julian was looking at his feet, pressing his lips together, and missed Garak’s pupils dilating. 

 

The Cardassian stood up and stepped close to Julian. “Doctor, am I to understand that the reason why you have been so agitated since you have arrived back at the station is because you have been so busy lately catching up with your work that you have not have time to indulge in your private forays into gendered expression?” 

 

Julian looked shocked. “Yes, Garak, that is exactly the issue. I picked this scarf up when I was at the conference, and I have yet to have time to truly enjoy it. You see,” the doctor cleared his throat, “I enjoy taking time to, well, transform a bit when I embrace this side of myself. I cannot truly let myself enjoy the experience if I am afraid I am going to be called away into the infirmary. Today was the first day that I knew I would be the third person called in for an emergency and felt it was time to indulge. I, um, have several steps to take until I am in the headspace that I crave. I do not constantly want to indulge in this, however, when I do the impulse is very hard to resist and putting it off make me feel a bit tetchy.”

 

“Just so you know,” Garak stepped a bit closer and pushed the scarf from Julian’s shoulders down to his hips and pulled him closer, but not flush against himself. Garak smiled in the most beguiling way and Julian could not resist staring at his lips, marveling at the sight, “...my dear doctor, I think that you are radiantly elegant and alluring in every way.”


End file.
